The last few months have been one of the most challenging, but most incredible I’ve ever lived. I’ve been devoting every moment possible to finishing a book of comfort for those who have lost a loved to one to suicide. I’ve decided to call it After My Son’s Suicide: An LDS Mother Finds Comfort in Christ and Strength to Go on.
Looking back over the past six years has been an exercise of remembering the Lord’s tender mercies and kind tutoring. The thing that has impressed me the most is how much I’d forgotten until I went back and read entries in my journal and other things I’d written over that period of time. Even startling, important things I had forgotten! Like the day I wrote the following entry about my son in the Spirit World, who I had wept and prayed for since his suicide:
June 5, 2005: “Had a special study time with conference talks and scriptures in the morning and was left with a burning desire to know if Brian is accepting the gospel and feeling what I am feeling, is knowing the truth of God and Christ and the Atonement and the Restoration. Went into the kitchen to get a drink of water and the Spirit washed over me and I KNEW, I KNEW Brian has chosen Christ, is repenting and making great progress. I can’t begin to express the joy this brings me. There is absolutely nothing I have desired more than to know that.”
We deprive ourselves of so much strength and joy when we neglect to record, re-read, remind ourselves of the great spiritual moments of our lives. Surely it is one of the adversary’s best devices to snatch away these moments of pure light from our remembrance and get us to focus instead on current frustrations or past grief.
I typed the words “remember, remember” into the search field of the scriptures on LDS.org and page after page of scriptures came rolling out: all counseling us to remember the words of God, the revelations, the promptings of the Holy Ghost, our testimonies and personal witnesses received.
And so, these past months have been a sacred time of remembering, and my heart is full of gratitude for all I’ve remembered, and all I’ve been able to share in my book.
I’ll keep you notified on this blog in regard to the progress of my new book. If all goes well, Lord willing, it will go to press in July.
In the meantime, Remember, Remember!